The Ideal Couple: PART-2

Today we will explore the beautiful love between Sītā and Rāma during Their exile. There are many incidents from the Vanavāsa which will help us understand the lovely relationship between Rāma and Ramā.

Sītā was Rāghava's self. Her dedication and firmness impressed Dasharatha, Kaushalyā, Sumitrā, Sage Vasishta and many others. The people even suggested to crown Sītā as the Queen and live under Her rule on behalf of Rāma. But for Jānakī, kingdoms and riches didn't matter. She assured Kaushalyā that She would remain ever devoted to Rāma and would always consider Him as Her God. She was always keen on being with Rāma even though her loved ones were not ready to let Her go. So Sītā accompanied Her Lord to the forest and followed Him unswervingly. She prayed to the rivers Gangā and Yamunā and also to the vast Banyan tree for the welfare of Her Husband and Brother-in-law. Rāma, on His part, helped His beloved to ascend the boat made by Lakshmana whenever They had to cross a river.

Sītā, who was always steadfast in Her duties, never left Rāghava's side wherever He went. True to Her words, during the initial phase of the Vanvās, Jānakī walked ahead of Rāma, who walked behind ensuring Her safety. He instructed Lakshmana to get Sītā whatever flower or fruit desired by Her, even though She rarely asked for any. The company of Her Husband alone delighted Her. Jānakī wasn't tormented by the loss of comforts and luxuries. She enjoyed the beauty of Her surroundings and enquired Rāma about the flowers and fruits which She happened to see. Rāma and Lakshmana brought the flowers and plants to please Her. Making the mountain Chitrakūta as Their abode, Rāghava and Sītā strolled and enjoyed Themselves in the picturesque landscape. Rāma appreciated the beauty of nature and enthusiastically showed different places, hills, lakes and animals to Sītā who reciprocated His interest and eagerly travelled with Him. Raghunātha enjoyed His stay in the forests because of Sītā's presence. He didn't care about anything else. His love and attention revolved around Sītā. In one of Their walks Rāma told, "My lovely Sītā, I consider watching this mount Chitrakūta and river Mandākinī in your presence more delightful than living in Ayodhya." Such was the love Rāghava had for His Jānakī.

Througout Their stay in the forest, Rāma always ensured the safety and happiness of Sītā. He expressed His unwavering love to Sītā in many ways. He decorated Her with flowers and ornaments and delighted Her. He held Sītā's hand lovingly whenever They had to travel in uneven terrain. Sītā was touched by the loving gestures of Rāma. She washed and massaged Rāghava's feet whenever She got the opportunity. She used to dry Rāghava's lotus feet with Her own silky hair as She felt that Her hair, which was softer than Her robes, would be perfect to wipe Rāma's delicate feet. She served Rāma blissfully and brought Him fruits to eat. She fanned Rāma with the end of Her garment while He was asleep. When Rāma meditated under the hot sun, Jānakī provided shade to Him with Her veil. Rāma was overwhelmed by Sītā's selfless love and never failed to cherish Her.

One day Sītā and Rāma engaged in many water sports in river Mandākinī and rested in the hermitage, enjoying the nature. While They were relaxing, Indra's son in the form of a crow troubled Sītā and injured Her bosom. Sītā tried Her best to dispel the crow but he harmed Her repeatedly. Rāma pacified Jānakī, wiped tears off Her face and cheered Her up with His gentle laughter. When Rāma fell asleep on Sītā's lap, the lustful crow again and again harassed Sītā, who silently bore the pain as She didn't want to disturb Rāma. But Rāghava awoke at a start when drops of Sītā's blood trickled on His forehead. Shocked and angered on beholding Sītā's condition, He enquired who had dared to wound Her. Turning around, He saw the crow with bloodstained claws, seated opposite Him. Rāma furiously plucked a blade of Darbha grass, chanted the invocation of Brahmāstra and hurled it at the crow. The missile speedily charged at the crow through the three worlds. The crow tried to seek the asylum of many Gods but all the sages and Deities, including his father Indra refused to help him. Finally the crow fell down seeking Rāma's shelter. Sītā who was ever compassionate, turned the face of the crow towards Rāghava and insisted Him to spare the bird. Out of pity and acknowledgment to Jānakī's words, Rāma blinded the crow's right eye and forgave him. This incident shows how protective Rāmachandra was of Sītā. He would instaneously be in pain and anger whenever His beloved was in trouble. He was ready to utilise even powerful weapons to teach a lesson to the one who misbehaved with His Consort. Such was the love Rāma had for Sītā. Even though the crow had wronged Jānakī, She forgave the crow. Even while being in great misery, She didn't want to awaken Her Husband. She was ready to bear all kinds of pain for Her Lord. This shows how considerate Sītā was.

After meeting Bharata in Chitrakūta and sending him back to Ayodhya, Sītā, Rāma and Lakshmana visited the venerable sage Atri and his chaste wife Anasūyā. The wise Anasūyā was eager to speak with Jānakī and advised Her about Her duties. Sītā respectfully replied,

• "O noble lady, even if my Husband is devoid of good conduct, He should be obeyed without showing any hesitation.
• What to speak of a Husband if He is worthy of applause for his virtues, is compassionate, a subduer of the senses, righteous and ever affectionate like a mother and a father?
• Mighty Rāma shows the same behaviour and treatment towards the other consorts of the king as he does towards his own mother Kaushalyā.
• Heroic Rāma is affectionate towards king Dasharatha and is conversant with righteousness. Renouncing the sense of self-respect, He honours all the women on whom His father had cast his glance even once, just as His own mother."

These words show how much faith Sītā had on Rāma and how well She knew about Him. Sītā was aware that Her Husband was the storehouse of all virtues and deserved all Her love and dedication. Jānakī spoke many more beautiful words praising Her Husband and stating Her duties. She also narrated the story of Her birth and wedding. Hearing this, Anasūyā was really pleased and gifted new robes, garlands and cosmetics to Sītā.

Sītā's devotion and blemishless qualities were acknowledged and glorified by many noble saints apart from Sage Atri and Anasūyā. Even Sage Agastya has said,

• "Even though She is delicate, Sītā never feels discouraged by difficulties. She has come to the forest full of obstacles, since She is motivated by Her love for Her Husband.
• O Rāma, help Sītā enjoy Herself in whatever manner She likes. By following you into the forest, She has accomplished the most difficult task!
• Your Wife is free from blemishes. She is praiseworthy and worthy of mention just like the revered Arundhatī."

Sītā had many role models like Anasūyā, Arundhatī and Sāvitrī. Due to Her own virtuous conduct, Sītā was praised by renowned Saints. She Herself became an inspiration for many. Rāma too greatly adored and respected Jānakī.

After taking leave of Atri Muni and Anasūyā, Sītā, Rāghava and Lakshmana entered the Dandaka forest. After receiving hospitality from many sages, Rāma along with Sītā and Lakshmana, travelled further into the dense woods. A dreadful and gigantic demon called Virādha lifted Jānakī and carried Her away, wanting to make Her his wife. Sītā was horrified and trembled like a plantain tree shaken by the wind. Seeing Jānakī held by Virādha against Her consent, Rāma became extremely agitated. He declared that it was more painful to Him than the death of Dasharatha and the loss of Ayodhyā. Pacified by Lakshmana, Rāmachandra angrily shot sharp arrows at Virādha. The demon, injured severely by Rāghava, dropped Sītā and carried the Brothers away. Seeing Rāma and Lakshmana being taken away, Jānakī was shocked. She lamented and asked Virādha to spare the Brothers and take Her away instead. Hearing this, Rāma and Lakshmana chopped the right and left shoulders of Virādha. Since the demon didn't get killed by weapons, Rāma decided to bury him alive. Even Virādha narrated his story and requested Rāghava to bury him. After getting rid of the demon, Rāma embraced Sītā and consoled Her. 

This incident enlightens us about Rāma's care, protectiveness and love for Sītā. Sadly, many misled people quote this event to show that Rāma was 'possessive' of Sītā. I wonder why Rāma's pain at Sītā getting abducted forcefully would indicate His possessiveness. Contrary to such people's opinion, Rāma knew His beloved Jānakī very well. He couldn't bear to see Her getting touched against Her will. Since Rāma deeply understood His Consort, He was also aware that Sītā resented Virādha carrying Her away. Sītā's discomfort saddened Rāghava. He was caring and loving, NOT possessive.  When Rāma saw Sītā lamenting and willing to sacrifice Herself, He was even more determined to kill the demon. Rāma also consoled Sītā and hugged Her. This itself shows that Rāma never suspected Sītā at any cost. I know this is not directly related to the rescue of Sītā from Lankā but it shows Rāma's faultless love. So we have to understand that Rāma never doubted Sītā during Their reunion after the death of Rāvana. Rāghava always punished those who dared to harm His Sītā.

When Raghunātha vowed to vanquish all the demons and protect the lives of ascetics, Jānakī, gently questioned Him about His Dharma. She put forth Her views in an affectionate manner.

• "There are three kinds of vices born out of lust. First, speaking untruth, second, having relations with others' wives and third, resorting to violence with no enmity. The latter two vices are of serious nature.
• O Rāma, you have never spoken untruth in the past nor you will speak in the future. How can there be any desire in you to destroy the virtue of others' wives?
• O Lord of men, earlier this vile desire for other's women has been absent in you, nor it is there now. Unobserved is such a desire in any corner of your heart, O Prince, for you are always interested in your own Wife.
• O Rāma, you are truthful, faithful, honourable and powerful. O elder Brother of Lakshmana, in you is established truth and righteousness. All this is only possible for those who have conquered their senses. O handsome One, I know your ability to subdue your senses."

Having praised Rāma, emphasised Her faith in Him and stated how well She was aware of Rāghava's noble qualities, Sītā expressed Her opinions to Rāma without any hesitation.

• "The third tendency to show violence without enmity has now suddenly befallen on you.
• O valiant One, you have promised to kill the demons in the battle, in order to protect the sages residing in the Dandaka forest. On account of this you have entered the well-known Dandaka forest with your brother, wielding bow and arrows.
• O brave Rāma, Your entry into the Dandaka forest is not delightful to me. I shall tell you the reason. Do listen.
• Entering the forest with your brother, armed with bows and arrows, it may well be that, on seeing the titans, you would release your shafts! The possession of a bow increase the strength and energy of a warrior!
• Once upon a time, Indra, the husband of Shachī, came to a Sage's hermitage in the guise of an attendant. He was armed with a sword to hinder the Sage's penance. Indra gave the Rishi that excellent sword to be kept in trust. Having received the weapon, the sage went wandering in the forest, always attentive in safeguarding the weapon. Vigilant about protecting the sword deposited with him, the sage never moved without it even while gathering roots and fruits. While the sage moved about holding the weapon, he gave up the practice of penance gradually and developed a violent mindset. In that habitual state of excitement the Sage was dragged into unrighteous ways which ultimately landed him in hell."

After substantiating Her arguments with the story, Sītā continued conveying Her thoughts to Rāma who was listening patiently.

• "Bearing weapons led to this in the past. Like the contact with fire changes a piece of wood, the carrying of arms works alteration in the mind of the one who carries them.
• In affinity and reverence, I am saying this as a reminder and not as an instruction. Improper is that thought of yours to wield your bow to kill the demons dwelling in Dandaka without any enmity. O brave One, undesirable is the killing of the ones without any offence.
• It is the duty of a Kshatriya to protect with his bow those who are in peril. The bearing of arms and retirement to the forest, practice of war and the exercise of asceticism are opposed to each other. Let the law of the land be honoured.
• Lord, when we handle the weapon, the mind gets vitiated. Only after returning to Ayodhya, you can perform the duty of a Kshatriya.
• O gentle One! You may move in this forest of ascetics with a pure mind. The true meaning behind everything in these three worlds is known to you, indeed.
• Who can guide you in the ways of Dharma? After carefully deliberating the matter with your brother you may act according to your wish. Let there be no delay."

Rāma patiently listened to Sītā's advice and appreciated Her concern. He cleared Her apprehension and responded politely. 

• "O Janakātmajā, you are very well aware of righteousness. What you have instructed me is appropriate and befitting your race.
• But how shall I say, O Devī? You yourself have declared, 'It is stated that when a warrior holds a bow there will be no cry of distress.'
• O Sītā, the sages who perform rigorous penance in Dandaka forest came to me personally, seeking shelter although they can be their own protection.
• The sages living in the forest, eating roots and fruits and ever engaged in righteous activities are afraid of the cruel actions of the demons. With their happiness gone, they have been victims to the dreadful demons living on human flesh.
• 'Come to our rescue’ was the cry of those excellent Twice-born, and when I heard those words falling from their lips, I promised to obey them and answered ‘Fear not’! It was a source of the greatest distress to me to see them kneeling at my feet, when it was I who should have been touching theirs.
• I enquired what I could do for them and all the Brāhmans in one voice said, 'O Rāma, the demons who can assume any form at their will are mercilessly tormenting us in Dandaka forest. Do protect us from them.
• O sinless one, these cannibals are invincible. They arrive at the time of our sacrificial rituals, on the days of festivities or at the time of lunar conjunctions like no moon or full moon days and attack us. You are the supreme refuge for us ascetics, tormented by demons. You alone are our lord in the forest. Do protect us with your brother.'
• O Daughter of Janaka, on hearing their words I promised to undertake the entire protection of the sages of the Dandaka forest. Having promised the Sages, I cannot do otherwise as long as I live. To me, truth is always dear.
• I may yield up my life or even you, O Sītā, as well as Lakshmana, but I cannot be false to a vow made to the Brāhmanas. Even if they hadn't requested, O Vaidehī, I should have protected. What more after making the promise?
• I am pleased with you, O Sītā, for what you have said is out of your love for me. What is harmful is never advised. Your words are worthy of your lineage, O sinless One. By pursuing the path of duty you have become dearer to me than my own life " 

Here Rāma respectfully replied to Sītā. He acknowledged Her love and made Her understand His point of view. Sītā ultimately agreed and supported Rāma. He declared Sītā as His Sahadharmachārinī who was dearer to Him than His own life! Here Sītā has taught us to share one's thoughts with the spouse without any fear or hesitation. Jānakī has proved us once again that She was a strong lady who discussed a lot of things with Rāma and was His equal.  Rāma has shown us how to explain one's opinion in a pleasant manner. Disagreements can happen but they should be handled well just like Jānakī and Rāghava did. Sītā understood Rāghava's mission and fully assisted Him in His eradication of demons. Sītā was aware of Rāma's actions even before this but this was just a pastime to teach the world.

More about this will be explored in the next post.

To be continued.....

Jai Siyā Rām!

Yours, 

Hari Priye